What do you think about when you hear the word "enough?"

In this episode, I’m going to tackle what I see as two different (and often competing!) realms of being and doing enough and then offer ways to help you redefine the word according to your own standards. (Amen and hallelujah to that, right?!)

First: Am I enough? This is all about YOU and how it feels to be you in your life and showing up to yourself.

Second: Am I doing enough? AKA why having a strong value of service does not mean you have to sacrifice your humanity in order to show up for the world.

I also cover the power of your values, self-alignment, the importance of not measuring your worth based on somebody else's standards, and why those tiny little steps are the way to start. Oh! And then I wrap it all up with talk of seeds, harvest, and how to make an orchard with your life.

Things I said:

"Live your life and prove to yourself what you are capable of."

"If an idea won't leave you alone, that is the sign that you are the person being gifted with that dream and vision."

"Service does not mean that you have to sacrifice your humanity."

"If you're measuring your worth based on somebody else's standards it will be impossible to live up to that." 

"The only starts that we can make are small starts...one step at time."

"Don't let that voice that tells you 'You are not enough' keep you from doing anything at all."

Those Timestamps

00:43 - Am I enough? - YOU, purpose, and service

10:35 - Reckoning with discomfort

14:36 - Are you doing enough? 

18:20 - Values and self-alignment

23:02 - Stop letting others decide for you

28:53 - The power of small steps

32:17 - The apple seed metaphor

Show Notes:

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This week, I'm talking about doubt and saying yes.

More specifically, I'm going to talk about how, I've shifted from thinking that "doubt means don't" to seeing doubt as a requisite part of the raise your hand say yes process and what it has shown and taught me about living life in integrity and alignment with my values.

I also tackle the commonly-heard phrase "If it's not a hell yes, it's a no" and offer a nuanced approach to both that phrase as well as the 5 different yes's I want you to consider, as well as the one that's the most important and easiest to ignore.

My goal for this episode is to give you insight into things that get in your way that you can shift as well as some new ways to think about your obligations, priorities, and how what you most want is likely found in what you're most likely to avoid.

Episode Quotes

"We have to make peace with the doubt and know that it's a part of the process."

"The hardest part is how to keep going. The hardest part is how to get back up when you've been humbled."

"When we only say yes out of obligation, we are shutting off the flow of spirit."

Those Timestamps

04:05 - Finding faith, Making peace with doubts

13:59 - When you stumble, you get back up 

21:34 - The 'easy' and 'safe' yeses 

26:32 - The 'obligatory' yes

36:56 - The 'OMG! I'll do it!' yes

37:42 - The 'Oh Fuck I kinda hate this I kinda love this!' yes

39:55 - Self-communion and self-agency

Show Notes:

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I am super excited to be bringing Natalie Lue back to the podcast. Natalie is an author, speaker, teacher, and podcaster at Baggage Reclaim Sessions, where she helps people get address all the things - lack of self-worth, habits, relationships - that are standing in their way of living the life that they want. 

Listen to my previous episode with Natalie on boundaries, emotions, and the dark side of people pleasing.  (This episode was such an aha moment for me!)

This episode was recorded the first week of May, so you’ll hear us talk about the COVID-19 lockdown (and what it has to teach us!), what to do when people are continuously letting you down, what it means to sit in our discomfort, the importance of self-awareness and slowing down before we reach burnout, what our relationships can teach us about ourselves, and how to even recognize what we actually want and need.

Nat, you are a gift! Thank you for coming back on the show!

Episode Quotes:

"Burnout is not just a cause of work, burnout can occur in any area of our life."

"We have to learn to read our surroundings and not just live in the past." 

"We have to recognize that each of us have our own personal bandwidth that encompasses our emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health."

"The more things that we say YES to that really we don't need to is the less bandwidth we have."

"If we are always being all things to all people, we lose that self-connection."

"Stop saying YES to things that make you feel like shit."

Those Timestamps:

04:37 - Quarantine life reflections, slow down and dodge burnout

14:24 - How to deal with relationship anxiety

24:07 - Self-awareness and paying attention to one's needs

37:54 - Professor Life: understanding life's bandwidth 

46:23 - Task numbing and what it means to sit in our discomfort 

51:50 - When to say YES and when to say NO

Show Notes:

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Baggage Reclaim Podcast

Nat's previous RYHSY episode

This week, I'm tackling a question I get a lot: how do I balance slowing down with the big goals that I have for myself? Do I have to choose one or the other?

Short answer: no.

Longer answer: there's a lot to consider here.

We’ve been programmed to think that BIG is BETTER. The thing is, playing big is often what our ego wants. And it's easy to demand of ourselves that we do ALL THE THINGS IMMEDIATELY. (Which only leads to burnout and not being able to make progress on much at all!)

So where do you go instead? What if focusing on playing small is actually the starting place?

If you’re someone who feels disconnected to your life, or you feel connected to your life but feel disconnected to yourself, then this one's for you. You'll hear about the value of getting granular with your life, why ‘sitting still’ could be empowering, keeping your focus on the life that you want, self-compassion, and taking bold actions. Enjoy!

Things I said:

"We can actually get closer to the lives that we want by learning how to play small in order to play big."

"The things that feel small might actually be the most powerful expressions of you and your gifts in the world."

"How we do one thing is how we do everything."

"In the hard moments, your number one job is to stay put."

"The core of the life you want is rooted in your values, personal agency, self-care and compassion."

Those Timestamps:

02:00 - You've got big work to do

07:40 - Playing Big vs. Playing Small

15:10 - Getting granular with your life

22:38 - The power of 'sitting still' in hard moments 

25:11 - Personal agency, self-care, self-compassion

34:25 - Ditching your "Yeah, But" 

38:05 - Go play small, get granular!

Show Notes:

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Rather than this week's regularly-scheduled episode, I'm using this time to address my commitment to learning and growing and being anti-racist. Please check out the resources in the show notes for further insight on how you can help and get involved.

Show Notes:

Anti-Racism Resources

75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice

Black Lives Matter

NAACP Legal Defense Fund

How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

White Fragility by Robin D'Angelo

I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown